Home Gaze into the Crystal Ball Previous Next About

In the Future...

Only fetishists will engage in "vanilla" sex.





S&M Couple Won't Stop Droning On About Their Fetishes
SANTA FE, NM--According to friends of Jason Roder and Gina Von Poppel, the sexually adventurous couple won't stop droning on about spanking, caning, ball gags, erotic photography, fetish parties, leather, rubber, PVC, latex, whips, floggers, and countless other S&M-related objects and activities. "When Jason first told me about his and Gina's kinky sex life, I was amazed. I wanted to hear all about it," said Stan Pritchard, Roder's best friend. "But around the 15th time I heard about how great it is to be tied to a chair, I was, like, 'Yeah, I know. The chair. The whip. Being straddled. Got it, thanks.'" Roder and Von Poppel, who have been dating for almost four years, began experimenting with sadomasochism in July 1999 after buying a few S&M-related items at Santa Fe's Naughty & Nice adult video and novelty store.

as seen by The Supreme Haruspices of The Onion

Number 111
Fix a typo

Peer into the future again

Home Previous Next About