popplers

Bats in her… umbrella?!

I stopped off at a farm stand and bought some fresh sweet corn. We were going to a BBQ/ potluck, and I wanted to try out a new recipe for Elotes (Mexican Corn Salad). I went out on the patio to shuck the corn, opened the patio umbrella, and was startled by a really big bug. Or a bird. Oh my, it's a bat!

It was sunny and humid, and he(?) must have been roosting in the folds of the cloth. When I opened the umbrella, he unceremoniously tumbled out, coming to a rest under a chair; he lay there, stunned and confused, on the hot brickwork. Meanwhile, Chris and I retreated into the kitchen to figure out what the hell we should do. Should we move him? Does he have rabies?* Can he fly away? Is this normal? Should we go look up "bats" on teh intarweb? After about a minute of frenzied consultation, the bat looked around, figured the coast was clear, and started flying in circles around the now-open patio umbrella. It was almost like he was trying to figure out what had happened to his roost. After several times round and round and round, he gave up and flapped away.

*Thanks to the fine folks at Bat Conservation International (batcon.org), we now know that very few bats have rabies: "Bat rabies accounts for approximately one human death per year in the United States." We suspect that our visitor was a little brown bat (Myotis lucifugus). As a result of our encounter, we've decided to Adopt a Bat and put up a bat house. (If you have a particular bat house to recommend, or any bat success stories, please leave a comment. Thanks!)

Friday quickies!

• Why doesn't this ever happen to me? Woman comes home to find house cleaned.
• I love Defective Yeti. Further adventures of The Squirrelly: careers in bioengineering. "Awwww, isn't that adorable?!"
• Via Accordion Guy: great cartoon from Wondermark! - sitting in at the Al Qaeda morning meeting. "I want to see some outside-the-box ideas here, okay?"
• New York Magazine has a nice Will Shortz interview: crosswords, sudoku, puzzles, and more. Bonus quote from Jon Stewart: "I'll solve, in a hotel, a USA Today [puzzle], but won't feel good about myself."
• Favorite headline from The Onion: Commuter Playing Some Sort Of Alphabet Sudoku.

horrorshow

House on Haunted Hill (IMDb:5.1|Rot:22% - CotC:10%)

Went for a walk in the park and had a delicious dinner Friday night at It Rains Fishes. Their fresh summer rolls were yummy, as were the crazy noodles with shrimp. I love going there— nice decor, funky asymmetrical bowls, groovy mood lighting, and cool sparkling limeade.

We retired to CVB's place to watch House on Haunted Hill. It was scary, but not scary enough to keep me from dozing off during a few scenes. (Hey, I was tired.) It stars Geoffrey Rush as a smarmy John Waters lookalike who happens to be in the business of scaring people. (He made his fortune with heart-stopping amusement park rides and takes great enjoyment in messing with your head.) James Marsters (Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) has a cameo as the TV cameraman who is filming Rush as he demonstrates his latest thrill ride: Terror Incognita (actually The Incredible Hulk rollercoaster from Universal's Islands of Adventure in Orlando, Florida). Famke Janssen stars as his ill-tempered, gold-digging wife. I've never seen the original Vincent Price version, so I had no preconceived notions going in.

I think the problem that I have with the movie is not so much the typical "Why the hell are you doing that?" (characters going off into spooky situation alone, or in pairs, while murderous psychos roam the hallways) but more of a "Who the hell cares?" Few of the characters are likeable; some are downright annoying (midway through, I was actually rooting for one of them to die horribly). Some scenes are suitably creepy, others have more snooze value than shock value. Chris Kattan (Mango on SNL) plays the we're-all-gonna-die this-house-is-possessed I'm-a-gonna-drink-myself into oblivion caretaker/ lackey.

In fine Night of the Living Dead tradition, the black guy (Eddie Baker, played by Taye Diggs) is one of the only members of the party who is sane and competent, and he gets the best lines.

What's this got to do with me? I'm adopted!

Worth a cheap rental, if you like blood and gore horror flicks. Me? I'll take a good zombie pic any day, and I'm very glad that I didn't pay to see this in the theatres when it first came out.

More guilty pleasures

So, we've watched the first two episodes of SciFi's Who Wants to Be a Superhero? I like it enough that I'm going to watch a few more, even though it's very cheesy. My thoughts on the second episode:

First 15 minutes: I really dislike the anonymous bitchy Q&A. This kind of crap is why I don't like "reality" shows.

The first "challenge" rocks— little old lady locked out of her house/ go 'round the back and let her in/ oops, she has vicious attack dogs.

:16 min - Excellent showing from Ty'veculus. Good strategy & speed from the firefighter-- he hits the target in just :16.
:17 min - Creature goes down in :12. Granted, she weighs less than the 2 dogs. Bzzt.
:18 min - The dogs really seemed to lay into Iron Enforcer (perhaps they know shit when they smell it?) That said, I expected him to make it to the door easily, and was really surprised that he freaked when he lost his footing & gave up so close to the goal. Bzzt.
:19 min - Feedback going for distance, but not going for speed. Success in :33.
:20 min - Fat Momma proves that well-trained dogs will not go for the donut when there's human flesh to be had. Kudos for trying, though. Bzzt.
:21 min - I love Major Victory. Perhaps it's because I was raised on 1960s Adam West Batman, but I think MV embodies the perfect combination of superhero bravado, self-deprecating humor, and camp that I have come to expect in a costumed do-gooder. "I salute you, you ferocious animals. I love you guys, you guys are sexy… Feel the love, baby!" Victory in :17 and his hair looks fabulous.
:22 min - Lemuria is a tasty biscuit. :19 in, the safety helmet starts to pop off, and she's toast. Bzzt.
:23 min - Cell Phone Girl. No signal after :04 seconds. Can you hear me now?
:27 min - Monkey Woman totally pwns Iron Enforcer's ass. Tenacity is an important character trait in a superhero, and I have tremendous respect for anyone (especially a 100 lb. chick) who can tire out 2 German shepherds and hit the damn target. 9:42. Awesome.

The Reckoning, Part I: Cell Phone Girl ("I had a headache"), Iron Enforcer ("No, really, I have a spiritual side"), and Creature ("Laughing doesn't mean I'm not taking it seriously") are called forward. By all rights, the steroid-using Iron Enforcer should have been the one eliminated, but instead Cell Phone Girl gets disconnected. Buh-bye.

:37 min - Fabulous costume makeovers for everyone! (Mystery Men did it better, and you had The Sphinx offering pearls of wisdom to boot.) On to the costume changes:

1. Lemuria gets some jazzier gold lame. B+
2. I liked Ty'veculus's original costume better. D- (Fortunately, they let him keep his own threads)
3. Major Victory - "Yes! Mr. Shiny Pants!" LOL A+
4. Fat Momma - She's like a hot pink American Maid— big improvement over her original outfit. A
5. Feedback - Better construction & materials, but the old costume had a certain je ne sais quoi. B-
6. Creature - thumbs up on the crazy mop-hairstyle, but her makeup makes her look like an understudy for Barb Wire. C
7. Monkey Woman - Not a lot different— I liked the fake fur on her old bikini, though. B
8. Iron Enforcer - gets a bigger BFG9000. BFWhoop. C

The Reckoning, Part II: Ty'veculus, Iron Enforcer, Feedback. Ty'veculus gets called on the carpet for initially lying & saying that he liked his new costume. Feedback gets smacked for making snarky fun of Ty'veculus's makeover. Iron Enforcer gets a dressing down for basically everything about him: un-superly behavior, packing heat, being a jerk, and just not looking the part. Commercial break, then the stunning conclusion: the bouncer gets bounced— sayonara, Iron Enforcer! And good riddance, sez I.

Ooh— twist ending. I didn't see it coming, but I have to agree that IE will make a far better supervillain than superhero. The lab-coated assistants whisk him off into the van and turn him into Baron Von Underbheit The Dark Enforcer. If the supervillain gig goes south, he can always tour Europe in a death-metal band.

And that's it for this week's installment of Who Wants to Be a Superhero?… I'm entertained enough that I'll keep watching it.

Friday quickies!

• You just can't make up news headlines like this: Dog destroys Elvis' teddy bear at museum.
• I don't know which is more awesome: the fact that there is going to be a Ned Flanders appreciation event at a Christian festival, or the fact that there is a tribute band named Ned Zeppelin. "[Simon Jenkins, the organizer of the tribute] said Flanders sets a good example for Christians. "He's a very ardent believer… and at the same time he's very humble," he said. "Although he's got very strong beliefs, he's not thrusting them down anyone's throat and he's not being unpleasant about it. […]"
• The Onion A.V. Club interviews Alan Moore and discusses his newest work, Lost Girls. (Already ordered our copy.)
• Neatorama offers a huge list of cool barbeque grills. I love the Austin-Healey BBQ Grill.
• Via Robot Wisdom: amazing Gnarls Barkley/ Supertramp/ The Who/ Rockwell mash-up: Arty Fufkin - Crazy Logic (2^nd mp3 link in the post).

Movie 3-fer

Over the Hedge (IMDb:7.2|Rot:75% - CotC:63%)

It's been hot lately. Really fhot. Which gives me a convenient excuse to see less-than-stellar movies in air-conditioned splendor, perhaps while drinking a Mike-a-rita. We saw Over the Hedge at The Strand a few weeks ago, and it was entertaining enough. DreamWorks is no Pixar, but the film has its moments. I particularly liked Steve Carell as ADHD squirrel-thing Hammy and William Shatner as Ozzie the Opossum. There's also a very funny scene involving a Mountain Dew/ Red Bull beverage that was reminiscent of the finale in the Futurama episode Three Hundred Big Boys. Silly, highly implausible even if you accept the whole talking-animals premise, funny, and a better-than-average kid flick, as The Onion's A.V. Club attests:

[…] There's plenty of manic running around and screaming, and several of the silent-action-set-to-sad-pop segments that are fast becoming animated films' standard method of establishing tone and character. But directors Tim Johnson (Antz) and Karey Kirkpatrick can be surprisingly sly and methodical; in particular, their expectation-reversing, low-key approach to a much-foreshadowed caffeinated-squirrel gag sets Over The Hedge apart for its cleverness as much as its energy. […]

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (IMDb:7.4|Rot:53% - CotC:42%)

We went to a matinee of Pirates of the Caribbean 2. Group opinion on this one varied widely, from "I liked it" to "OK, but too long" to "Well, that's 3 hours of my life that I'll never get back". The CGI stuff was awesome— I really liked Davy Jones's crew and the Kraken wasn't half bad either. But I thought that the movie dragged. I enjoyed Ty Burr's movie review and this follow-up article:

The first casualties of this state of affairs are storytelling and dialogue -- the twin leaks that sink "Dead Man's Chest" faster than Davy Jones ever could -- but the rot has spread to editing (all those padded running times), music, and other areas. The appearance of a truly well-made Hollywood entertainment is now a lonely fluke. […]

Which brings me to "Miami Vice," the most fun I've had in a movie theater in months.

I feel dirty even saying that. It stars Colin Farrell; it's based on a TV show that was '80s camp even while it was on the air -- how can such a film be taken seriously? Because: (a) it's not meant to be, and (b) its craftsmanship is nevertheless of the highest and most serious order. Moviegoers have responded; the film was the first to topple "Pirates" from its perch at the top of the box-office. […]

A Prairie Home Companion (IMDb:7.6|Rot:81% - CotC:71%)

This week's Strand movie was A Prairie Home Companion. I enjoyed it, although I realize it's not for everyone. I couldn't even finish reading the hissy-fit of a review that vitriolic critic Rex Reed posted in the New York Observer. But if you're a fan of the radio show (and it's been on for over 30 years, so someone must be) or if you enjoy Robert Altman films, it's definitely worth it. Woody Harrelson and John C. Reilly steal the show as Dusty and Lefty, the singing cowboys. Early in the film, as the camera pans over to them, practicing in their dressing room backstage, singing (with harmony) I Used To Work In Chicago, I couldn't help but laugh. ("Liquor she asked for; lick 'er I did; I don't work there anymore.") Excellent cast, with lots of sweet moments.