Vast wasteland
6:15 a.m., at the gym. Four silent TV sets, each tuned to a different station. Closed captioning scrolls across each screen.
Screen 1. MyFoxPhilly: how cell phones may cause infertility in men, due to "thermo Jenn I can" (thermogenic?) effects. This spot includes a medical model of a man's torso, with cell phone and pager strapped to the hip. The "doctor" switches to a more detailed plastic model of the reproductive organs, and seems to take great pleasure in repeatedly saying "testicles". I now know why Elvis shot his TV. Lacking a gun, and with another 30 minutes left on the treadmill, I turn my attention to…
Screen 2. CNN: how acupuncture can be used to treat infertility in women. First she should make sure that he isn't carrying around his cell phone, PDA, pager, and Playstation 3 in his boxers. Next.
Screen 3. ESPN: hockey fights, steroid use, cockfighting (WTF?), NASCAR, more steroids, bored now.
Screen 4. Channel 6 (local ABC affiliate): Philadelphia airport Terminal A temporarily shut down by airport screeners due to a laptop with a "suspicious-looking wire". Have a nice day from the TSA..
Mercifully, my time is up & I can stagger back to my room to take a shower. I can't wait to get home— I need A Daily Show, stat!
Posted by rv at February 8, 2008 09:22 AM to tv